Bottle and Can Etiquette

How to properly throw bottles and cans out the window.

By now, most of my neighbors have seen me more than once, walking along the road with one or more plastic bags in hand.  I started this little hobby to help an unemployed friend who was not working during the rona. 

I have dubbed myself “The Bag Man of Mottville” as a result.  Might as well go with it.  My neighbors probably laugh at me while appreciating my efforts at the same time.

After one two mile plus walk, I had enough bottles and cans to fill a 35 gallon trash bag.  That had to look a little funny if you were driving by.

After filling 4 large garbage bags in less than a month, I noticed some things that would certainly make picking up return-ables much easier.  So if you insist on throwing your beer cans out the windows, please do so nicely.

Here are the DOs and DON’Ts:

1) DON’T crush the cans.  When they are not round the redemption machine at the store can’t read the bar code.

2) DO buy your beer in cans.  Cans are better than bottles.  They are lighter and easier to carry.

3) DON’T buy things in glass bottles. Glass breaks.

4) DO throw them out the window in a nice place.  I prefer the nice, flat, grassy places along the road. 

Great can placement!

5) DON’T throw them out in deep ditches especially the ones filled with water.

6) DO avoid patches of poison ivy and nettles also.  I don’t need the nickel that badly.

7) DO throw them all out together.  Though it does make my hide-and-go-seek bottle walks more adventuresome, it is easier to pick up cans in clusters.

Following these simple rules will make it easier on all of us.  Of course, since you’re already not following the rules by throwing your trash out the window in the first place, I don’t have high expectations.  So, they next time you choose to drink and drive I hope you think about me wandering down the road picking up after you.  It would be much obliged. 

Better yet, just don’t drink and drive.  Your car wrapped around a tree is not easily redeemed.