I have seen it most of my life. I have seen it with prospective business partners, with relationships and every conceivable situation. Perspective in life is not something, it is everything.
There was a guy I was thinking about getting into business. I thought with his talent and my business management skills we would make a great team. We came up with two or three great ideas. But the conversations always ended up the same way, him telling me all of the reasons why it would not work. I would get frustrated and say, “You’ve told me all the reason it won’t work, now tell me reason it can.”
I think you can see the dilemma we all face every day. What is it that we choose to see in any given situation? It is as if we have two angels sitting on our shoulders, one telling us why a situation is bad or why we will fail and the other angel telling us why it will work and why we will succeed.
Which voice we listen to makes all the difference in the world. Here are some examples.
When a business venture fails, you can say it is a bad thing OR you can choose to see it as a learning experience that will lead to success down the road. Dave Thomas failed in every business he started until he didn’t. Wendy’s is a huge success.
When a relationship fails, you can see it as a bad thing or once again take what you have learned to make yourself better and to be ready the next time around. I have heard TD Jakes preach that anyone that is supposed to be in your life will stay and anyone that is not supposed to be in your life will go. When they want to go, LET THEM! Live your best life knowing that someone better is waiting for you.
Work and jobs can be the same way. About two years ago I had an opportunity to be a department head at a local company. On the surface it seemed like a great career move for me. After being self-employed for so long, punching the old time clock and dealing with company politics took its toll on me. I resigned after eight months and went back to what I was doing before I took the job so in a certain sense you could say I failed. But to me I learned once and for all that I was really good at being self-employed and really bad at being an employee.
It is a wonderful thing when you arrive at a place in life where you give yourself permission to be who you are without excuse. It really is OK to let yourself just be you.
There is so much negative we are bombarded with every day, every week, every month. The news is bad, politics is bad, food is bad, the climate is bad, etc, etc. There seems to be a steady flow of things to be unhappy or complain about. We each have the choice to turn that around and see the good.
Here are some questions I like to ask:
- What do you have in your life to be happy and thankful for? Job? Health? Children? Roof over your head and food in your belly? People you love and that love you? Make a list. Read it out loud to yourself every day. It will change how you see your life. It may even “change your mind”.
- What is the good news? I know there is a lot going on around you that is bad and could be better, but there must be something good that happened today. Think on that instead.
- Why will it work? You have told me all of the reasons something will not work, now tell me the reasons why it can.
There is good and bad in everything. Look for the good. It just might put a smile on your face and a spring in your step to make your day and those around you a little better. Start today, right now. You will be glad you did.