Self Help


There are few things we can count on in life and change is one of them.  You could say that change is a constant like death and taxes.  Most of us hope for change and yet are afraid of it.  We complain about change when it happens then later are thankful that it did.  Change is such a strange thing; we want it and don’t want it all at the same time.

Even more interesting to me are the dynamics of how change happens.  I like to boil it down into two categories, proactive and reactive.

I like to give the example of walking down the road where there is a big hole up ahead.  The first ways is to be proactive say to your friends, “hey, there is a hole up there, don’t step in it.”   The second way is to be reactive (let it blow up) and say nothing and let people find fall in the hole.

Of course I prefer change to happen the first way.  I really do not want to reinvent the wheel or find things out the hard way if I can help it.  I also do not want my friends to go through the pain of falling in the hole if it can be avoided.

The thing with people though is that most of us need to find things out for ourselves.  Some of us only learn the hard way.  I really try to listen to the good counsel I have around me but often do not listen.  I have stepped in the hole so many times that I have gotten much better at taking advice.

This concept of change happening in one of two ways applies to not only life’s lessons about also relationships and even at work.  I have often told people that I work with that there are only two ways to effect change.  They can either make their jobs into what they want or allow others to shape their work experience for them. 

We all have the options in any given situation to 1) Try and make things better (change it), 2) complain about or 3) leave.  Of the three there is only one bad choice.