Self Help

What Needs to Change?

Often in my prayer time, I consider people and situations that have left me feeling unsettled.

More often than not God reveals to me that I am the problem and not the situation or other people. It really is the easy way out to play the part of the victim and blame the situation or other people. The better approach is to realize that the only thing we can control is ourselves and how we decide to react to things. The best thing to do is to take responsibility for our own actions.

A very long time ago when I was a young parent, I was complaining to a good friend about my wife.  I suggested to him that my wife needed counseling/therapy.  His response to me was very direct and forceful which is unusual for him.  He put his finger in my face and said, “Therapy!?  You’re the one that needs therapy, not her.  You need to stop trying to control everything around you when the only thing you can really control is yourself.  You can’t even control your kids!” 

I have never forgotten that moment.  It was life changing for me to understand I can only control me.

Situations will come and go.  People will do what they do.  How we talk to ourselves and how we decide to react (or not react) will largely determine whether or not we are upset or happy.

Being upset with a situation or angry with a person is a decision.  We get to choose if and when we get upset about things.  We get to choose if a situation or a person will ruin our day.

We get to choose if we will take things personally or understand that person that was rude to us probably treats everyone else the same way. 

Choose to let things go.  Choose to not get mad.  Choose to see the good in all situation and life will start to become a little easier and you will begin to feel a little happy and a whole lot lighter.

Is it easy to choose not to feel mad when you have been slighted?  Probably not.  Is it easy to be happy when things go bad?  Not even close.  Is it easy to see the silver lining when it seems like your world is crashing down around you? No way. 

Choosing to see the bright side, choosing to be happy, choosing to not react and not be mad is difficult.  Understanding that you only control yourself will give you a freedom that money can’t buy.

Give it try.  The results can bring life-changing peace of mind.


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