Miscellaneous Self Help

Monkey See, Monkey Hear

I believe there is a fundamental difference in men and women.  Men believe what they see.  Women believe what they hear.

In general women communicate better verbally.  When they tell you something, you best be listening because in general they say what they mean and mean what they say.  Here is an example.  If a woman says she only wants to be friends with a guy, that’s what it means.  You are in the friend zone and that will not change. 

I give the example of a guy and a girl that spend time together as “friends”.  As long as they keep spending time together having drinks and going to the movies, the guy will hope the friendship will turn into something more . Even if she says, “You’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell..”  he will go on believing he is the snowball! He believes what he sees, not what he hears!

That is also the reason why women tend to stay in abusive relationships because he says, “I love you” while at the same time treating her badly.  Women stay because they believe what they hear and not what they see.

If you tell me something I will believe you up to a point.  What I am more likely to believe is what I SEE.  If you tell me you love me but the evidence of it just isn’t there then after a while I won’t believe what you say.

My buddy Bob often says, “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time”.  I can’t tell you how many times I have found that to be true.

My advice is simple.  Guys, listen to what she says.    Ladies, watch what he does.  Of course that also works in reverse.  Guys if you want her to believe, you can’t just show her you have to also tell her.  And ladies, he not only needs to hear it but needs to see the evidence as well.

Something to think about….