Miscellaneous Self Help

Being Right

WHEN I was 32 I worked for Wayne Finger Lakes BOCES as a network engineer.  I found myself at odds with management when I was asked to install a network at a school that didn’t meet the engineering requirements. It had quickly escalated to the point where I was sitting in the superintendent’s building in the conference room talking to the Information Technology manager. 

He said to me that life was not about right or wrong but about getting along.  I remember it like it was yesterday when he told me even though I was right, I could also be right out of job.  I ended up resigning my position but the lesson has stuck with me ever since. 

A few years later I was helping some friends move a business out of downtown location.  I made it known to my buddy, that somebody was doing something that wasn’t the right way.  He said, “It’s OK to let other people be right.”  Once again, the lesson was driven home.

When I was younger I also needed to be right in my relationships as well.  I have been right and been alone many times. 

I have gradually lost my need to be right all the time.  This has helped me at work and even more so in my personal life.

As it stands now, I do my best to only make issues out of things that really matter to me.  I have discovered that not many things are that important.  Now if I’m spending time with someone special and they want to dance or plant flowers or whatever, I always say, “ sure, I’d love to”.

If your lady wants to move a couch or paint a room, yes is always the right answer.  If she wants to go dancing or out to dinner?  Yes.  Go to flea markets or garage sales?  Yes.  Travel?  Yes.  Family? Yes.

The right answer is always yes. 

There are many clichés for this like “happy wife, happy life” and “if momma isn’t happy, no one is happy”.  These may only be clichés but are also truth. 

So I ask; do you want to be right?  Or do you want a happy lady on your hands?  The choice is yours.


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