Miscellaneous Self Help

To Do or To Be

When I was 32 years old I attended a series of small business seminars that were sponsored by Cornell Cooperative Extension.  At the end, each attendee was given free counseling sessions with the presenter of their choice.  This is how I met my buddy Jim and we have worked as business associates since then.

Part of the reason Jim and I work well together is that I am a “doer” and Jim is a “be-er”.  I like to jump on things and get them done as soon as possible while Jim likes to give things time to see if they will work themselves out.  Over the years Jim and I have influenced each other so that we are now both more in the middle of the spectrum.  As with many things, there is a balance.  So let’s talk about doing and being and faith.  Yes, faith.

It takes very little faith to just see an issue and deal with it on your own.  If you are like me and believe there is an “Intelligent Energy that Holds ALL Things Together” like I do (I call that Energy God), then you probably also believe in karma or what goes around comes around or faith or something.

For me, it is faith.  This is and always has been a tough one for me because I don’t want to rely on anyone including God to get things done for me.  It got me in trouble a lot when I was younger because I was constantly pushing to get things done.  Pushing is fine if you’re talking about a lawn mower but not so great when it comes to people.  People don’t like to be pushed and when it happens they will likely push back.  For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Learning when to push and when not to has been huge for me.  Spending time with Jim has mellowed me a bit and I rely much more often on faith that things will work out if I leave them alone.  I still push when there are tasks to accomplish but try to have faith when it comes to people and circumstances beyond my control.

ON the opposite end, I think Jim would say he is much better at doing, pushing to get things done when people are taking TOO long to respond.  Let’s face it, if you’re facing a legal challenge or owe money to the IRS or forgot to file your tax return, that’s probably not a good time “be” and just let it work out on its own.  Some things require action.

Are you a doer or a be-er? Do you push when you should wait, or wait when you should push?  It’s a tough one but I have faith that we can all push to be a little more in the middle.


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