Holding Hands

This morning those of us that live in Central New York woke up to several inches of snow on the ground, bad roads and snow plows.  And no, this is not an April Fools joke.  And neither is the topic of this article.

As is customary for me, I go for walks down the nature trail near my home where I pray and meditate on whatever pops into my head.  One of the latest notions to occupy my thoughts has been: what exactly does it mean to make a woman feel safe? 

In the traditional sense it means protecting her physical safety; protecting her from the bad guy, providing a safe home, and providing for her other physical needs.  While I support all of those chivalrous endeavors, I would like to suggest that the most important way to protect her is by keep her emotionally safe.

Now mind you this could open an entire can of worms and I suppose a book or three could be written about it.  I’d like to boil it down and make it as simple as possible.  In the modern day we live in, women are ever becoming able to take care of their own physical needs, AND there still remains the need for men to understand that we should be protecting her heart.

A woman’s emotions are a mystery to men and I’m no exception but here are some things to consider:

A woman needs to know if you will be there for her, especially emotionally. Do you have her back?  Do you take her side no matter what?  Are you careful regarding what you say about her in front of friends and family? 

A woman needs to know you can and will listen to her without judgment.  Most men immediately go into fixit mode instead of understanding that she just needs you to LISTEN.  She doesn’t need to be fixed.  She is perfect just the way she is.   She needs to know you are available to give her your time and attention.  She needs to be heard.

A woman needs to know she is the only one.  That sounds obvious but are you in some subtle way making her feel inadequate by what you do or say?  Do you make comments about other women when you are with her?  Do you think about other women?  Flirt? Are there any other distractions that take your attention away from her? It may seem harmless to you, but it is not. Women have this built in radar so they know if something isn’t quite right. A woman’s intuition is real.

A woman needs to know she is appreciated.  Do you thank her for that meal you just ate, or even better cook her one sometimes so you know the value of what she does?  Do you thank her for making your house a home and all the time she invests in making your life more pleasant? 

A woman needs to know she is attractive to you.  She needs to be your “10”.  If she asks, “do you like how I look better with my hair up or down” say YES.  Tell her she is beautiful every day.

A woman needs to know she has your support as she pursues her own interests. Do you congratulate her on the new job promotion or college degree? Do you encourage her to pursue her own interests, hobbies and passions? Do you take pride in the book she just had published or the music recital or dance demonstration? She has dreams of her own. She needs to know you support her in ALL she does.

When a woman gives you her heart and trusts you with her emotions, it is a priceless gift.  This gift is worth your unswerving, single-minded devotion.  This is nothing I can think of that has more value on this Earth.  Do you cherish her? Adore her?  Do you do nice little things for her every day to let you know she is the apple of your eye?  Do you hold the door for her?  Do tell her she’s beautiful? Do you hug and kiss her every day and tell her you love her?  If not, you better start and I mean now!  She’s worth it. She is one of God’s greatest blessings.

It is easy to hold a woman’s hand. Holding her heart is far more important.